Why?
by astha22
Summary: Elena is back with Stefan but feels something amiss. She goes to the cemetery to talk to her family, but finds Damon drinking at his mother's grave. Then she finds something out that rocks her to her core. *1st TVD fic* *Not smut* *Bigger summary inside*
1. Chapter 1

_**Title : Why?**_

_**Summary : Elena is back with Stefan once he is back to the vegetarian diet. But she finds herself dissatisfied and moody, on the edge, and snarky. She goes over to the cemetery hoping to talk to her family and try to hash things out, but finds Damon drinknig at his mother's grave. Then she finds out something that scares her to bits.**_

_**Ship : Delena**_

_**Two-shot. **_

_**Author's Note: My first The Vampire Diaries fanfiction! Please please PLEASE read and review. Dedicated to all my 172 (on last count) followers on Twitter. I love my TVD Family.**_

_**Specially dedicated to Aya (damonandelena_) on twitter.**_

Elena Gilbert desperately needed to know what was wrong.

Stefan had stopped drinking human blood, and with a lot of coaxing and pushing, he had agreed to stop resisting her. They were in a relationship once again. She loved Stefan, she really did, and she was happy that he wasn't suffering anymore.

Then why was she lying there in her bed, tossing and turning at three in the morning with no sleep lingering on the edges of her conciousness?

Damon had reverted to being perpetually drunk again. He was also pretending not to care by being his usual snarky and sarcastic self. Elena could see he was hurting, but he wouldn't let her close enough to heal. He had erected an invisible wall around his heart, and try as she might, she could not scale it.

Maybe that was the problem.

Elena felt suffocated and clausterophobic inside her bedroom. She had changed so much while the room had remained the same—it felt like a shadow of her old life, one she couldn't go back to now. The life before her parents died, when her biggest problem had been a history test she knew she was going to fail.

She made a split second decision—she wouldn't stay in this room tonight. All this room held were memories, memories too painful to be remembered right now. But where would she go? The Boarding House was quickly eliminated as a destination on the sole basis that climbing into Stefan's bed with Damon in the vicnity just felt... wrong. She loathed hurting Damon, but most of the time she couldn't help it. Then where...

Without any solid plan in mind, Elena simply picked up the car keys and dashed out of the empty house. So much of her life was planned... She was suddenly this VIP who needed to be protected, to be taken care of... But she didn't want to be this. She didn't want to be this girl who was so important to everyone—Stefan, Damon, even Klaus. She wanted to practice cheerleading without thinking about injuring herself and tempting her boyfriend. She wanted her family back. She wanted... She wanted to just _be._

Her mood being what it was, she wasn't really surprised to find herself parking in the parking lot of the cemetery. She wanted—no, needed—to talk to her parents. She parked her car, got out and headed to where she knew her family was. An year ago, wandering in a cemetery in the dead of the night would be spooky, but right now, with everything that was going on in her life, the thought was marginally funny.

As she made her way through the thick foilage, she had a feeling that she wasn't alone. A little spooked against her will, Elena looked around, trying to see past the trees to the oldest part of the cemetery. She remembered that part—she had been there with Stefan to dig up Emily's grimoire.

That is when she saw him.

Shee was quite far from him, but she could see his silhoutte very clearly. She could see the leather jacket—she knew how it smelt, how it felt beneath her fingers... She knew the dark-haired man sitting facing away from her was Damon Salvatore. He was sitting on the grass near a grave, facing it, and even as she looked he took out a hip-flask and took a long drink. He was drunk... which meant he was not in his best mood. Elena debated over whether or not she should approach him.

He made the decision for her.

"Just can't keep away, can you?" He said, just loud enough for her to hear.

"I came to see my family," Elena replied as she hesitantly approached him. "What are you doing here?"

"Believe it or not, a century and a half ago, I had a family too. Other than Ye Olde Stefan, of course," he took another swig from the flask. "Okay. I guess, I am outta here. Good night."

As he got up, Elena looked over his shoulder and saw the name on the really old tombstone—Elizabeth Salvatore. "Is that your Mom?"

"Yeah," he muttered. "Look, just go away. I was sitting by a century-and-a-half-old grave in the middle of the night. In case it isn't glaringly obvious, I wanted to be alone."

Elena was about to make a scathing comment about him not owning the damn place when Damon raised the flask again and she noticed something. Something that confused her at first and then made her heart knock against her rib-cage. "Damon, where's your ring?"

"Not on my finger," he retorted, then turned to leave. "Calm your heart down Elena, before you burst an artery."

"No, wait," Elena yelled. How the hell could he be so calm about this? "Is it lost? Where did it go? Damon, the sun's coming up in a couple of hours and—"

"And _poof!_ Ashes to ashes," Damon drawled. "I know. Believe me, I get it. Now go away."

Elena was trying—and failing—to keep her hysteria at bay. Why was he acting like this? She wanted to think for a minute, to figure this out, but all she could see was Isobel going up in a burst of flames. Elena grabbed his arm, trying to get him to answer her. There was a moment where she was dragged along in his wake before he did stop, but didn't turn to face her. "Damon, please. I need you to tell me where it is. I will get it back for you."

He turned back to her. "You can't. I threw it in Steven's quarry."

_**Author's Note : This was supposed to be a one-shot, but I wanted it up today and I am tired. Sorry. I know it's an evil cliff-hanger. On the flip side, the second and final chapter will be up tomorrow. So, leave a review? Please?**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note : I know I promised this chapter would be up yesterday, but I was busy. It's a festive atmosphere here in India. A big Hindu festival. Anyways, here it is...**_

_**A special thank you to Delena Fan, LiveBreatheVampires, amgonyea, Girl96xoxo, and coockiemonsterlove. I am sorry, something's wrong with my account, it's not letting me answer to your reviews. Hugs and kisses to you (Pun intended, Girl96xoxo). THANK YOU!**_

_**LiveBreatheVampires : Amy, I am following you on Twitter. Follow me back? And also, I will start reading your fics soon. Maybe today.**_

_**And, Marie, my sweet angel, you never mentioned you liked TVD. I saw my first episode in December last year and I was fell head over heels over imaginary fangs in love.**_

_**Note to TVD-Love Sucks (chrictikourk) on Twitter : Thank you so very much for saying that I made Damon sound like himself. I tried really hard to make that happen. I tried using words and phrases from the show in my fic, and in this chapter I have taken an entire conversation! There is more dialogue in this one, so... *crosses fingers***_

_**Note to Miina.x (KimaMichaelson) on Twitter : Your profile name suggests you might like a character in this chapter... Let me know, okay?**_

_**Disclaimer : You think I own the Vampire Diaries? If I did, Katherine and Stefan would be holidaying in Timbuktu, Damon wouldn't own any clothes and Dex would be a script requirement for every episode.**_

_**I don't even own Ian Somerhalder. *sob* I am also extremely jealous of Nina Dobrev. She gets to run her fingers in all that new gorgeous hair-do :(**_

Elena's brain took an achingly slow time to grasp the reality of Damon's statement. She looked at him blankly at first, not even comprehending the seriousness of this situation. She felt as if her entire existence was trying to reject the statement, and all that it implied.

"What?"

Elena didn't even know whether she breathed out the question or thought it. She was momentarily left incapable of speech. Her legs ceased to support her and she sank to the ground, aghast. He had _thrown _his daylight ring away. This was too much to take in. Throwing it away meant that he wanted to die. It couldn't be fixed as easily as having Bonnie make him another one. There was some reason at play here, something she couldn't grasp with her sluggish brain. Something had happened. She recounted the past few days, trying to see what had finally pushed him over the edge, but came up empty-handed. "Why?"

"Well," he said with a tilt of his head, "seemed like poetic justice or some such rot. I first put the damn thing on there when Emily gave it to me."

Elena knew he was being absurd for the hell of it. He just seemed so unconcerned... "Is it me? Us? Stefan and I?"

Damon waved his hand towards the iron gate. "I want you to _leave _Elena. If I had more time I would leave now and come back later, but unfortunately the sun doesn't rise on my say so. Now, Mother's in heaven, I'm going to hell, and there are probably no long distance phone calls back and forth. If it's not too much to ask, I want to talk—for _five_ minutes—to the only person in my entire existence that loved me back."

I stood mutely for a second longer. He must be _really_ drunk to admit something so vunerable. "Damon, listen to me. We need to get you out of the open."

"Why? I like the great outdoors," he drawled. "They're so... sunny." He took another swig, realized his hip-flask was empty, and promptly picked up the bottle he had placed next to his mother's grave.

"Damon... I need to talk to you about this. Y-you can't do this. Please," she whined. "Just tell me why you're doing this. Stefan and I were together before, and you were okay with it. More or less. Damon, you cannot do this. I _need_ you," she sobbed. She had never felt so vunerable and scared in her entire life. Every major crisis she had been—be it Stefan leaving town with Klaus or his coming back and shutting off his humanity—Elena had been sure of Damon's support. She was sure that come Hell or high waters, Damon would stay right next to her. Her very own always and forever. With him next to her, she could have weathered any storm easily... How was she supposed to deal with this?

Damon took another swig from the bottle of whiskey and kept it on the ground before turning to her. "Elena," he said, cradling her face with his hands. His thumbs carressed her jaw as he looked over the top of his eyes at her. "Go home. Just go to the Boarding House if you have to, okay? Let Stefan comfort you, it will all be over soon, and neither of us will have to hurt anymore."

"You think I will stop hurting if you're d-dead?" Elena incredously held onto his hands. "You think your existence is a burden? Have you completely lost your _fucking _marbles?" She shook her head resolutely. "Come with me. We'll go back home. _My_ home. I need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you, Elena. I wanna get through this. Believe it or not, it's scary. If I let myself be persuaded, I will never go through with it. Look, just give up already. Stefan's back to boring bunny-diet-Stefan again, and you love him. It's always gonna be Stefan. I am done pining over women who don't love me. I am done being the second choice. How long do you want me to wait? To believe against all my doubts that you do love me... I can't leave, I promised you I wouldn't. But I can't do this anymore, Elena. I've had enough. No more. Would you please respect my decision?"

"Who's gonna save your life while you're out making decisions?"

"You're not listening to me, Elena. I don't want to be saved. Not if it means seeing you and Stefan live the American dream for the next half-century."

"Get your ass out the gates now, Damon."

Damon walked forward, whiskey bottle in hand, till he was invading Elena's personal space. Again. "_No._"

Elena debated her plan of action. For maybe half a second. Then she snatched the bottle from him in a quick move, and smashed it against Elizabeth's headstone. Placing the jagged end of the glass on her wrist, she smiled at him. "Fine, then. I will meet you in Hell."

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Damon's eyes were flashing with uncertainity and concern within seconds.

Elena didn't know where the burst of courage came from, but she refused to question it. She needed it right now. If she had to, she would use his own love to drag him back from the edge. "Die now, and I will cut up my wrists and bleed to death. You need to be around to save me, Damon." To hurry him along, she nicked her wrist just a little. She meant business.

Damon had never looked so vulnerable. He was trying desperately to find the energy to call her bluff, to tell her to go to hell, but she saw his bravado leave him the minute his shoulders slumped. "What do you want?" He asked petutantly, his eyes fixed on the tiny drop of blood forming on her wrist.

"Go outside, sit in my car, and don't go anywhere. I just need to talk to my Mom for a minute. All alone. And, Damon," she added as he rolled his eyes and turned to leave. "Please don't listen in."

"Fine," he smirked. "I'll just go and wait for you in your bedroom, okay?"

"I don't see you there when I get home, I am killing myself."

One dark sleek eyebrow went up. "Such enthusiam, Elena. Every man's wet dream."

She ignored his attempt at making her uncomfortable. "Wipe that smirk off your face, Damon. And talking to Stefan will not help you. He will take my side on this, and he won't be able to keep me on suicide watch forever." She saw it in his eyes—he had considered it. "Now go."

"You have turned into a Queen, O warrior princess," Damon said with a smirk, and with a cocky salute and a whoosh of air, he was gone.

Elena waited a minute before she called Bonnie. Her call was immediately transferred to voice-mail, and Elena left a message with Bonnie. She doubted Bonnie was asleep, but she doubted Bonnie would help Damon either. Still, she had to give her friend a chance.

Sighing, she placed another call. "I need your help," she said into the phone.

On the other side of the town, Niklaus fumbled for his watch and squinted at the time. _Elena Gilbert was calling him at four in the morning? _"Well, this is an unexpected turn of events. Are you all right?"

"_Yes, and if you help me, I will stay that way._" The girl seemed near tears. _"I will owe you one, Klaus, if you help me."_

Klaus frowned as his ever-present smile dimmed. "What do you need?"

"_A witch. I need you to get ahold of a witch for me."_

Klaus's frown deepened. "And then what? Ask her to spell you a spectacular report card? What do you need, sweetheart?"

"_I need you to tell her to spell me a daylight ring—a Lapis Lazuli ring. Damon threw his in the quarry."_

One dark blond eyebrow went up. "Trouble in paradise?"

"_She needs to spell it to my bedroom. A transportation spell. Klaus... Please. Just, help me. I-I will do whatever you want me to do."_

"Of course I will help you, love," Klaus said, thinking fast. "In return, you will have to fix up a date for me with your friend Caroline." He smiled as he realized he had shocked her a little. There was absolute silence on the line.

"_You have my word. Call your witch." _With that, Elena disconnected the call.

"And a very good morning to you too," Klaus muttered as he started to scroll through his contacts.

Elena barged into her bedroom, headed straight for the sexy vampire getting drunk on her bed and slapped him. _Hard._

He just took another swig. "I have told you repeatedly to not do that. Yet, that's the fourth time you have slapped me."

"How could you? How could you do that to me? How could you try to leave me? After promising me you would never leave me again, how can you even think about leaving me _forever_?"

"Because I am tired, Elena!" Damon's voice was finally raised to a shout—she had riled it enough. "Because there is only so much hurt a man can take. Why should I stay, huh? So that I can wait in the background for any token affection you might throw my way? So that I can be there for you, your second choice? Your back-up plan? I will not drink my existence away, Elena, waiting in the sidelines, hungering for a kind look, a kind word from the woman I love. I will _not _become some freaky drama queen—sitting there and waiting for any tokens of affection you can share. Why would you do this? Threaten to murder yourself so that I may not kill myself? What am I to you? You care about me, I get it. I am your _friend,_" he practically spat out the word. "But there's something more. Why would you do that for me? Huh? I am just you boyfriend's older brother, Elena, so why would—"

Elena had had enough. She stopped his drunken tirade the only way she wanted to—she kissed him. Their first kiss was a dream, a break from reality. In sharp contrast, this kiss was far too real—she attacked his lips with all the pent-up frustration she had. Damon stood stock stilll for a moment. He could feel those lips on his mouth, feel her persistent little tongue as it stabbed at his lower lip. Elena was offering herself in a way, and Damon didn't want to accept. He was afraid to trust her. Afraid that he would not be able to stop once he did accept her love. _Love?_

Elena lifted her head a little, her thumb moving back and forth on the unyielding seam between his lips. "I have fallen for you, Damon. I have, and deep down, you know it." She looked into his eyes as she confessed, "but I'm scared."

Damon didn't realize he was holding his breath. "Of what? I would never hurt you."

"That is almost absurdly obvious. I am afraid of falling in love with you."

"Why?" Damon's breath fanned her face and she leaned in a little.

"Because if I fall for you, Damon, if I let myself love you, there is no turning back. You are not the kind of man someone just loves—if I let myself, I will be obsessed by you. If I let myself go, if I accept the inevitable, you will become the center of my universe."

Every word Elena whispered was like a balm on Damon's mangled heart. She did love him, even if she hadn't said it in those exact words. "I am scared too, Elena. Because you already are the center of my universe. Let go. Just... Let go."

"I will."

"Why?"

"Because I finally realized tonight. I already love you."

The smile that lit Damon's face was nothing short of miraculous. This was probably the first time Elena had seen him smile so fully—his teeth dazzled her, as did the love that shone in his eyes. She leaned forward and kissed him, and this time, he opened his mouth to her gentle moaned, and Damon hugged her. She felt his armes go around her, for the first time, and she relaxed into that embrace as Damon's toongue sought hers out.

They sprang apart like guilty school-children when a blinding light flashed into the room. Damon immediately pushed Elena behind her, and Elena looked over his shoulder at the little Lapis Lazuli ring lying innocently on the bed.

All was well.

_**Author's Note : This is actually the longest chapter I have ever written, I think. Tell me what you think? Also, you can follow me on Twitter : Mystical_Astha. Tell me what you think? Please?**_

_**Any other ideas you want me to write about? Let me know. I don't have time to proof read this, so please forgive any typing errors :)**_


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